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The Snows of Kilimanjaro 1

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gapped excerpt from the short story

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Hungría

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The Snows of Kilimanjaro 1

gapped excerpt from the short story

Boglárka Kozári
1

traded possession fault blame should sloth betrayals dissatisfied involved another chosen hardship way destroyed anything

Africa was where he had been happiest in the good time of his life , so he had come out here to start again . They had made this safari with the minimum of comfort . There was no ; but there was no luxury and he had thought that he could get back into training that way . That in some he could work the fat off his soul the way a fighter went into the mountains to work and train in order to burn it out of his body . She had liked it . She said she loved it . She loved that was exciting , that a change of scene , where there were new people and where things were pleasant . And he had felt the illusion of returning strength of will to work . Now if this was how it ended , and he
knew it was , he must not turn like some snake biting itself because its
back was broken . It wasn ? t this woman ? s . If it had not been she it
would have been . If he lived by a lie he try to die by it .
He heard a shot beyond the hill .
She shot very well this good , this rich bitch , this kindly caretaker
and destroyer of his talent . Nonsense . He had his talent
himself . Why should he this woman because she kept him well ?
He had destroyed his talent by not using it , by of himself and
what he believed in , by drinking so much that he blunted the edge of
his perceptions , by laziness , by , and by snobbery , by pride and by
prejudice , by hook and by crook . What was this ? A catalogue of old
books ? What was his talent anyway ? It was a talent all right but instead
of using it , he had on it . It was never what he had done , but
always what he could do . And he had to make his living with
something else instead of a pen or a pencil . It was strange , too , wasn ? t
it , that when he fell in love with another woman , that woman should
always have more money than the last one ? But when he no longer was
in love , when he was only lying , as to this woman , now , who had the
most money of all , who had all the money there was , who had had a
husband and children , who had taken lovers and been with
them , and who loved him dearly as a writer , as a man , as a companion and as a proud ; it was strange that when he did not love her at all and was lying , that he should be able to give her more for her money than when he had really loved .