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marco rabadan
marco rabadan
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How to get along with your coworkers

It's true that most jobs are difficult enough and come with their share of pressures , setbacks , and irritations . But it can be so much worse if we cannot get along with one or more of our coworkers . When we are put into a relatively small space and asked to work closely , sometimes side by side with someone we don't jibe with , it can become very tedious , very quickly .

One of the reasons this can be difficult is that we all have different personalities , likes and dislikes , and unique preferences . Some have a strong personality and tend to others by dismissing new ideas or being intimidating , often without even realizing it . Or sometimes , some coworkers seem to become close friends and create a within the office , making it impossible to break through to become a part of the team . Even if you really enjoy your job , if you are dealing with situations like this , it can severely impact your job satisfaction .

However , when we face difficulties , we often get tunnel vision ; that is , our focus and attention become centered only on what we are dealing with and ignores everything else . So , while we might think that our coworker's behavior is some kind of personal you did nothing to deserve , they may feel affronted as well . Andrew Selig , Sc . D . , a management and organizational psychologist who often mediates tense workplace relations says : " Most of the time , all the protagonists involved feel like victims . "

Many of the conflicts between employees that are experienced in the workplace happen when entering a new position or job , or having someone new become part of your department or team . No one likes change , especially when it affects the way things have been for a long time . But for someone new to a position , the tendency is to be a - , to hit the ground running . But this isn't always the best approach . " Coming into a new organization is like a step - parent coming into a family . Come in slow . Don't start parenting right away . We have to earn trust so people value what we have to say , " Selig says .

As with most conflicts in the workplace , misunderstandings , miscommunication , and misinformation are a major problem . If specific roles , for example , are not well defined , your coworker might feel like you are , even though you might feel like you are just doing your job .

On occasion , it is worthwhile to examine how your interaction with your coworkers compares with how they react with each other . This will help you identify if there are any changes you need to make in how you share ideas and resolve conflicts at work with them . According to Selig , it's worth the time to observe others and practice 'when in Rome' behavior , .

Another way to defeat tunnel vision is to ask a third party their honest opinion . Do this before you present the problem to the offending coworker , Human Resources or your boss ! It would be especially helpful if you asked someone who gets along with the . Hopefully , this will give you fresh insight on the situation . But if the problem remains , it is then advisable to approach your coworker about the issue .

? Resolving workplace problems : If you feel like you've tried everything to resolve the issue and have decided to speak with your coworker , HR , or your manager about the problem , there are a few things you should keep in mind .

First , don't be impulsive or react when you are upset or frustrated . Allow for some time to pass so you can think about the situation from several viewpoints . This will give you time to think about the best way to handle the situation , what you will say , and who you should be saying it to .

Second , avoid saying 'you' but instead , try and say 'I' . This helps to avoid making yourself the victim and your coworker the villain . Instead of saying , " Why are you all my ideas ? " You could say , " I think I may have gotten off on the wrong foot . Is there anything I should be doing differently ? "

Third , remember where you are . You aren't at home where you might be justified in taking personal offense and being defensive . You are at your place of work where you are required to be professional in handling conflicts . Do your best to remove emotion from the equation . Instead of saying , " No one is listening to me . " You could say , " This is what I think my job is , and these are the strategies I'm using to reach my goals . Is that what you and others expected of me ? "

Conflict is inevitable . It will happen from time to time . But how we handle those conflicts when they arise , will determine how much we allow it to affect our day to day life and could have either a positive or negative impact on our prospects .

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